South African comedian Schalk Bezuidenhout is training for his first-ever Comrades. And, he’s learnt a lot from the utility of the word ‘tapering’ when you don’t know what else to say to the wise sages of Comrades past who seem to relish in acting as vague as a fortune cookie of fear and advice. Watch Schalk’s hilarious take on it all:

South Africa (18 May 2025) — South African comedian Schalk Bezuidenhout is among the many rookie racers preparing to take on the upcoming Comrades Marathon for the very first time. And, amid the many lessons Schalk has learned (like how far 80kms actually is and why the word ‘tapering’ is a fast ticket to sounding like you know what you’re talking about in a group of runners), he’s also interacted with the ‘Comrades Fortune Cookies’.

A Comrades ‘Fortune Cookie’ is someone who has completed the race and proceeds to give a rookie runner vague, alarming, and somewhat riddled advice, including (but not limited to) “After halfway, you find out who you truly are.”

Schalk recently made some updates on his training, with a video dedicated entirely to the ‘Comrades Fortune Cookies’ and their scary warnings.

“They will make it their mission to put the fear of God in you. They’ll go, ‘oh is it your first Comrades?’ and you go, ‘yeah no it’s my first one, I’m very excited’. And they’ll go (with an expression as if they’ve just seen a ghost), “I remember my first one… good luck, that’s all I can say. Good luck. And then they run into a bush and disappear forever,” remarks Schalk. 

The comedian even hilariously compared these sages to Dumbledore from Harry Potter, who never really let the kid know what was actually going on but made sure to give vague warnings at a whim.

Watch: People Who Have Done the Comrades Before, Please Stop Scaring Us

Sources: Schalk Bezuidenhout 

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